I woke up when the light came on. I must confess to being a little surprised at how I had managed to curl myself up so completely on the small cushion. For some unfathomable reason, & despite the last couple of days I still felt physically very relaxed. I don’t know whether it was the exceptionally clean air. So clean it almost tingled on my senses. Or perhaps the gravity was slightly lower here. I must confess I don’t know. I sat up on the cushion and stretched out. My hair was quite a mess. I started to comb it out with my fingers, fussing a little.
Then I noticed the small bowl of water in the corner. It was tepid & stale but I didn’t care I was so thirsty. Picking it up in both hands and drinking it down thirstily. That brought another anxiety to the fore. The numbness between my legs was wearing off & it started to feel sore and becoming painful. I really needed to pee and to poo, but to urinate more than anything.
Was I expected to go in the corner, surely not. I looked at the little bowl. Could I squat over that somehow. How would I clean myself afterwards? I realized quite uncomfortably that I was expected to wait, in discomfort. I sat on the cushion still trying to brush my hair & waited. I started to try and make sense of what had happened to me so far. But only succeeded in drifting off into a hazy reverie.
Then it was broken by the sound of the lock being opened. Then the door swung open and a girl stepped in. Carrying a large tray. The door closed & locked behind her. She was quite beautiful and completely nude, except for a tiny veil covering her mouth and some bells that were attached to piercings on her body. She looked about 22 or 23 the same age as me & had long white blonde hair. Straight down her back to her bottom. She looked so lovely and graceful. I fiddled with my hair nervously.
“Hello Mistress, this girl is called lita.” She introduced herself kneeling down besides me.
I was overjoyed she seemed to speak English & with an American accent, halting English but perfectly so, as if she knew the language but had forgotten it. Actually this wasn’t so, she was speaking Gorean, & I was understanding it. The drugs I had been given on earth prior to the transportation were taking effect. The learning process was a simple case of reiteration. Once a Gorean word had been spoken it simply replaced the English one. In fact every time thereafter you tried to use an English word the Gorean word & most importantly the concept & your context within that reality, replaced it seamlessly. With each new word learned I felt radically different to my old self. Different to the men, submissive & feminine, reverent towards the men the Masters. She could see the awkwardness & discomfort in my eyes.
She looked up at me & smiled comfortingly.
“Do not worry Mistress, there is a lot to learn, but we were all new once.” She said stroking my hair.
I looked into her eyes and she hugged me tightly. I felt my concerns melting away with that embrace. The discomfort & fears of the last few days, just drifting away in her arms. I wondered if the other girls from the wagon were getting such a soft lovely welcome. In my heart I knew they weren’t. I could still hear the loud snap of the whip from yesterday, still hear the muffled squeal, and still taste the fear in my throat from that incident. How glad I was that I wasn’t a slave.
She took pot, really a small bucket from the tray and opened the lid. Then helped me to squat over it. I was surprised to find that I could keep my feet flat on the floor while squatting on my haunches, like a peasant girl. Oh I wanted to pee so bad. I looked up at her waiting for her to look away. When it dawned on me that she wasn’t going to, my body took over. Oh my pee stung and my defecation was quite small and hard, barely anything there at all. Nonetheless I had the satisfying sensation of emptiness and relief. Lita was actually brushing my back and hair with her fingertips soothingly while I went. When I was done she knelt me down & began sponging me with warm water.
It felt so nice & soothing I just kneeling there, as she bathed me. She was actually kissing me softly in between sponges & humming happily. I felt so relaxed, she was totally guileless & loving. It was actually difficult to describe, I don’t think I had ever met any adult who seemed so lacking in anything remotely resembling ulterior motives, or fawning. She just seemed to want to please and serve me, to the very best of her ability. But she was no child. The way she caressed & kissed me while she cleaned me was so sensuous and quite unsettlingly sexual, left me in doubt of that. She wanted me to enjoy her service as much as she enjoyed it. I felt very uncomfortable with it, but at the same time it felt so natural & lovely.
She began brushing my hair, with long smooth stokes. Then she applied some gloss conditioner, we might as well have been in a salon. My hair had never felt or looked so good. She applied moisturiser to my body, rubbing it in slowly. Then applied some powder and rouge, accenting my nude body. Then my eyes and lips. I was a bit nervous about this, not wanting to be overly made up, I needn’t have worried. Finally she scented me, so I smelt as sweetly as her.
She held up a small mirror for me to examine myself. It was breathtaking. She had one such a fantastic job, so subtle and yet so effective. I had spent lots of money on professional pampering, yet never had I looked and felt so feminine and pretty without it being in any way over the top. To the untrained eye I looked completely natural, but oh so sensual too. I didn’t realise it at the time but women here are rarely permitted to apply their own cosmetics. Rather girls do it in pairs, doing their best to please Masters eye.
She also had some clothes for me. I wondered what had happened to my bags & my clothing. I had packed quite a few pairs of black slacks and fitted shirts, my normal attire. Quite simple, and just a little bit office professional sexy. I must confess I did like this look & more than liked the cautiously appreciative looks of male friends too. However my baggage wasn’t to be returned to me.
She had a little yellow outfit for me. I don’t think I had ever worn yellow, or least such a lustrous yellow. There were pantaloons, similar in style to harem or capri pants, but quite slim fitting and a small halter neck top that lifted my breasts sweetly, making me seem fuller than I was. The first thing I noticed about the garments was the utter slipperiness of the fabric. I felt like I was wearing them but not wearing them. The way they slid & shimmered across my body, felt more akin to a liquid or jelly on my bare flesh. There were no undergarments provided. The fabric was extremely glossy & metallic feeling like charmeuse but on both sides. The next thing I noticed was the lack of elastic or strings. The garments slid on snugly, then seemed to cling to your curves. Also the cut was extremely snug and small, about 2 sizes too small & tight. The pantaloons very low on the front and rear. And the halter top was quite tiny and low cut on my enhanced cleavage. The fabric was quite inelastic though, there seemed to be no stretch in it at all. Quite uncomfortable as it made you squirm about inside it, without ever getting properly settled. It was so sheeny and distracting against your skin too. & if you ran your fingers over the fabric as it stretched across your curves it felt fantastic on the fingers and quite breathtakingly exciting on your body inside. I felt rather indecent, it felt like some sort of fetish play wear. Or the sort of thing very tarty bimboish girls wore to dance videos.
Nonetheless it was better than being naked. I stood up & walked around trying to get used to the frankly unsettling texture & cut of the clothes. As I moved it felt as if the fabric was sticking to my curves yet was about to slip & fall off at any moment. It wasn’t but it was designed to feel that way. Also despite its lustre the silk was also quite sheer and diaphanous where it stuck to you. I was quite glad that I was blonde & very lightly so all over.
There was another piece to the outfit. Lita beckoned me over & pulled me down to sit. I didn’t notice at the time but she gently resisted any attempt for me to sit cross legged on the cushion, which would have been my natural position given the lack of furnishings. I only realised this later & for very obvious reasons. Instead she knelt me down in front of her so we were facing each other. Me on the cushion and she on the floor. Facing each other & very close. She had a sparkle in her eyes as she held up the tiny yellow mouth veil that matched my outfit. I looked at it slightly aghast for a moment then she reached round and tied it under my hair and behind my ears. With my first intake of breath it slipped inside my lips and out again. The moisture in my breath, caused the veil to wetten and stick to my lips softly. It slipped across my mouth maddeningly with each breath, so much so that that I quite unconsciously tried to breath slowly and not too deeply. In small gasps or pants. I looked up over the veil at her. Her own veil displayed the same behaviour. Yet hers also had a more pronounced indent on her lips, as if it had been regularly pressed inside her mouth.
She noticed me looking at this and blushed and smiled underneath the pink veil. She lifted her finger to my mouth & pressed the veil just a little inside my lips, looking into my eyes, as she parted my lips with the tip of her finger. Then she stopped as it dawned on me what she meant I blushed and had an involuntary spasm of sexual excitement. Her pupils were deeply dilated now, I wondered if mine were too. She reached over and kissed me softly on my lips.
“Mistress Karen is very pretty.”
“Thank you lita” I was quite flustered.
Although she called me Mistress I didn’t in any way feel like a Mistress or her superior. Rather I felt like she was an older sister or more experienced friend, helping and leading a shy friend.
“Please just call me Karen, lita.”
“As you wish Mistre…” She laughed quite happily “Karen.”
Oh how lovely she was, so open and completely without malice. How carefree she seemed. But also so vulnerable. & as I was to find out she was completely vulnerable and her only and supreme care was being obedient & pleasing to her Masters.
I heard the key once more in the lock outside. She got up to leave. I was distraught I didn’t want her to leave, to break this happy spell between us. But she quickly gathered up the things and waved to me before stepping outside. Leaving me alone in the room with my cushion, as the door locked behind her.
I sat on my cushion & cried. Looking around me. the room was quite small & the ceiling was quite low. Little more than a box room. If I lay down flat on my back I could only lie diagonally. Also it had an unseen light source. At least this room was painted, if albeit in a rather garish pastel pink, quite similar in fact to lita’s veil. The floor was tiled and it too was decorated with inlayed murals of women in erotic positions, or being whipped or controlled in various bondage positions. The patterns were very subtle. And on closer inspection the walls were also delicately patterned in this manner. Obviously I didn’t realise this but in times gone by this would have been a pleasure room, containing only a bed and one or two girls, locked in waiting for Master to come.
The light was coming from a delicate grilling high in the wall to high for me to peer into even on tiptoes & it was too flat to get any purchase to lift yourself up with. In fact the grilling was one way, allowing the occupant, or captive to be observed discreetly & without her knowledge. Though she would always have the sensation of being watched. These were from an earlier time & wives and concubines would be confined in these rooms whenever the Master of the house was likely to call, waiting for him. never knowing if he was to come to this room or another. Until the concubine or concubines heard the turn of the key in the lock or the sounds of lovemaking from another room. These rooms were generally arranged around a central harem area with a small pool where the wives & concubines could gather & pamper each other, with cosmetics hoping to please Master. The whole area could be observed unseen by him. But these arrangements were from a much earlier time & women were much more strictly handled now.
I sat & then knelt and then stretched and fidgeted and fretted. Thinking about lita & when & indeed if she would come back. She was indeed originally from Earth & from America. But would only reveal the scantest of details. And was quite emphatic that she was now Gorean. I imagined her with another 20 girls pressed into a tiny wagon and felt so, so sorry for her, but also a little thrilled and slightly jealous. I don’t think I had ever met anyone so happy & obviously contented with life.
I rolled around some of my new vocabulary inside my head. What was quite disconcerting was that, some of the words were already supplanting my English verbiage. I was only vaguely aware of this process, sort of in the corner of my minds eye but I was definitely aware of some English words & concepts fading & slipping away. This wasn’t just a literary process but also a conceptual process. My ability to describe and experience the environment around me was being shaped. I clung onto the notion that this process was necessary but reversible, when I went home.
There was a strict delimitation or demarcation between female and male words. Female concerns and topics were quite demeaning & menial and expressed in simple emotional terminology. There was no intellectual abstraction, nor was there any need for it. As the verbiage and experience of women was quite domestic and petty, concerned with pleasing the men. There were no female words for male topics such as business or politics, literature or anything intellectual at all.
The female lexicon was extremely deferential and obedient, utterly pliant and dominated, inferior. The male lexicon where it related to females was one of complete domination and superiority. There was no question that he was to obeyed. Also in all this there was the implicit threat of consequences or punishment for her. & the natural assumption that he was to be totally loved, obeyed & feared. He was to be pleased & she was to please.
Also everything was suffused with sexual meaning. All her waking hours and chores were to be devoted to her Masters pleasure. Even in the tiniest detail she was engaged in foreplay and loving service to him.
For example the word kajira, which is commonly translated as slave girl. Means just that in translation but has no such parallel meaning in Gorean. Being enslaved implies a person who is imbonded, but a kajira or a woman is not considered a person at all. So is in no position to be legally enslaved. In fact she is completely beneath the law, both legally and morally. Rather a kajira is defined as simply a possession for sexual service and male pleasure. There is no question that she is to be owned. Similarly though it is irrelevant in the narrative of a barbarian girl, as we are not bred. A wife is the provider of children, simply that.
Also although lita had been calling me Mistress, there was no such corresponding term. Here it simply meant girl with temporary authority over other slavegirls. Granted solely at Masters discretion and usually for the convenience of having a girl supervise the other girls at their chores. That authority is solely a male concern, women are not deemed worthy of being in control of their own concerns and activities let alone that of others.
I must confess to my chagrin that I was not offended or overly upset by any of this. Rather I found it quite natural and feminine and very romantic. But I had never really felt comfortable trying to compete with the men, rather than boys I had met. And all my sexual experiences had been frankly unsatisfying. I had yearned for an earlier more romantic age where men were more masterful & demanding. Also though I only vaguely suspected it, my new vocabulary was conditioning my emotional and intellectual responses.
The door opened & I had to restrain myself from leaping up and hugging lita when she came into the room. Instead she knelt by me and arranged my legs so that I was kneeling with her. I still hadn’t realised the import of this. She had a small bowl of peeled fruit. Just simple fare, oranges grapes and grapefruit, all peeled perfectly and some pieces of banana and apple. At least they seemed like fruit from Earth. The bowl was quite small, as was the accompanying bowl of water. Also the fruit tasted slightly dry & on closer inspection was a little stale. I didn’t realise how lucky I was to get this.
I resisted the urge to gobble it hungrily. Partly helped by the fact that lita handed me each small piece sparingly. Almost as if I was being fed. The way she held it up to me almost made me want to eat it from her fingers rather than taking it from her with my hands and eating. The portion was really quite small, but my stomach hungrily accepted it. I was left feeling still a little hungry. I had only just began to notice how lithe and slim I felt. I had always been quite thin, but now my waist was getting quite tiny and I was becoming very petite but shapely too. In fact the emptiness in my tummy made me feel at the same time hungry and dependant, but also invigorated.
I did allow her to hold the water bowl for me as I drank & that did indeed feel very nice. She cleaned me when I was finished & kissed me again.
I didn’t want her to leave but she had to go.
I remained kneeling on the cushion waiting & hoping for her return.
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